


Teach Me How To Swim

by ifallonblackdays_fics



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9478391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifallonblackdays_fics/pseuds/ifallonblackdays_fics
Summary: A broken Alec shows up on Magnus' doorstep—well, more like on his fire escape. Healing—physical and otherwise—ensues.(First kiss after the wedding. Inspired by the Malec sneak peek for 2x05.)





	

**TEACH ME HOW TO SWIM**

There was blood in Alec’s nostrils. The smell was all-consuming. It travelled all the way up to his brain until he couldn’t think straight. He supposed that’s why he did it—to get Jocelyn’s blood out of his nostrils. There was no way he could ever get it off his hands, but maybe he could do something about the smell that was slowly but surely bringing him to the brink of insanity. 

Blood calls to blood, and Alec figured that maybe, just maybe, a different kind of blood, the _right_ kind of blood, would overpower the one he had spilled. He hadn’t counted on it to be _his_ blood, but he supposed it was fitting. 

He also hadn’t counted on ending up at Magnus’, but the smell and the blood and the pain were driving him crazy, and his body had sort of gravitated towards the warlock’s home on its own accord. Alec had no idea why he hadn’t used the door like any sane person, nor did he know where on earth he had found the strength to climb all the way up the fire escape. All he knew was the relief that swept over him when his feet finally hit the ground, quickly followed by the rest of his body. 

He found himself slumped against the railing, his whole body on fire and his soul screaming. He blinked dazedly at the window in front of him, and he watched almost with detachment as Magnus walked by and did a double take, dark eyes widening as he took in the sight. 

“Alexander!” 

Next thing he knew, the most beautiful man he had ever encountered was kneeling next to him, touching him—and in that moment, Alec knew exactly why he had come here. Magnus touched his face, his chest, his hair. He did his best to let Magnus’ touch anchor him, give him back at least one piece of himself. 

Magnus’ eyes scanned Alec’s body quickly, assessing his injuries. He grabbed Alec’s nape and found his wandering gaze and held it firmly. “Alec, what have you done?” 

Alec had no idea how Magnus knew this hadn’t quite been an accident, but he let out a little snort. “What _haven’t_ I done?” 

Magnus didn’t need any further explanation. “Oh, Alec…” 

Alec licked his dry lips. He could taste blood on them. He didn’t even know whose blood it was anymore. “I had to…get rid of the smell…” 

Magnus frowned. “What smell?” 

Alec leaned his head back against the railing. The world was swimming in and out of focus. “The blood…Jocelyn’s blood…” 

Pain flooded Magnus’ features so quick and sudden that for a terrifying moment, Alec thought he might be injured, too. 

“Alec—” Magnus trailed off. Whatever he was going to say, he must have decided to save it for later. He sighed deeply and slung Alec’s arm across his shoulders instead. “Let’s get you inside.” 

“’m sorry I came here,” Alec felt obligated to mumble as Magnus hauled him to his feet. “I didn’t know—” It was now his turn to trail off. He may be a murderer, but he was no liar. And what he had been about to say would have been a lie. He _did_ have other places to go. He could’ve gone back to the Institute, or to Idris, or even to the Silent Brothers if he was really desperate. He forced himself to look Magnus straight in the eye. “You’re the only one I could’ve come to. I…” He took a shuddering breath. “You’re the only one I trust with this.” 

Magnus was so shocked he actually froze halfway through the French doors of the window. He gave Alec a smile that could have lit up the sun. It sure as hell lit up Alec’s world, and the Angel knew his world could use some light. 

“You can always come to me, Alexander. Always. You hear me?” 

Alec did. Loud and clear. 

“Come on now,” Magnus said quietly, soothingly. “Let me take care of you.” 

Alec wanted to tell him that he should save his magic, that he hadn’t come here to be fixed. He wanted to tell him that he just needed a safe place to rest his head, just for one night. But pain flared up anew in his body, and he didn’t get the chance to say anything at all. 

“Alec!” 

There was panic in Magnus’ voice. And love, underneath. It sent an electric jolt down the whole length of Alec’s spine even as darkness came. And he thought that if the last thing he ever heard in this lifetime was Magnus Bane saying his name like that, he could count himself a lucky man.

* * *

“You need to stop doing this to me, Alexander. I may be immortal, but at this rate you _are_ going to kill me.”

It would have been a lie to say that Magnus was waiting patiently for Alec to wake up. He was simply waiting; his patience had been washed away with all the blood he had cleaned off Alec’s unconscious form. He sat on the armchair by the sofa in his living room, and he stared at Alec so intently that it was a wonder the shadowhunter wasn’t being roused by the scrutiny alone. 

But Alec didn’t wake. He lay pale and still, and Magnus hated the fact that in the short time they had known each other, this wasn’t the first time he was getting to see Alec like this. What he _hadn’t_ seen was this coming. He should have. He should have sensed the urge to self-destruct mounting within Alec. God knew he had experienced it enough himself to recognize the signs. 

But he hadn’t, and now Alec was broken. He may not have stood on the ledge of a bridge ready to jump, but Magnus couldn’t see much difference between that and going demon-hunting on one’s own. 

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “I almost couldn’t heal you,” he said quietly. “What are you doing to yourself, Alexander?” 

Alec stirred then, and Magnus all but jumped out of the chair to perch himself by his side on the sofa. He lay a hand on Alec’s chest and idly noticed the wave of warmth that swept over him as Alec’s heartbeat echoed against his palm. 

“It’s okay, Alec,” he said urgently. “You’re safe.” 

Alec grunted. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at Magnus with an unfocused look and a dazed smile, as if he were just waking up from a restful sleep. 

Magnus’ heart picked up the pace. _“I’m not sure if you noticed, but my brother is not exactly warm and fuzzy,”_ Isabelle had told him once. 

Magnus disagreed. There was a softness to Alec, a kind of unexplored grace of being that couldn’t help but shine through. It killed him that no one else seemed to notice it. 

“Magnus?” Alec’s voice was croaky and he still looked like he had no idea where he was, but still he attempted to push himself up. “What happened?” 

Magnus grabbed him and helped him sit back against the cushions. “You passed out on my fire escape. It was quite the startle.” 

Alec looked away guiltily. “I’m sorry.” 

Magnus rolled his eyes fondly. He placed a finger underneath Alec’s chin and gently turned his face back towards him. “I’m just teasing you, Alexander.” He ran his fingertip lightly along the strong line of Alec’s jaw. 

All he wanted to do was to lean in and kiss him, but he didn’t dare push his boundaries, not when Alec clearly felt so lost already. He cleared his throat and grabbed a steaming mug from the coffee table. 

“Here, drink this.” He took Alec’s hand and wrapped it around the mug, and he only let go, reluctantly, when he was sure Alec had a firm hold on it. 

Alec took an experimental sip and then looked at him in surprise. “It’s good.” 

Magnus smiled. “Not all parts of the healing process have to be unpleasant.” 

He let the unsaid hang in the air between them and watched as his message sank in. He saw the exact moment it did, the flicker of emotion across Alec’s eyes. He wanted to reach out to him and touch him, but he knew better. 

Alec continued to drink in silence, his amber-colored eyes watching Magnus intently from over the brim of his mug. The warlock felt the intensity of that gaze go right under his skin, and not for the first time he wondered what it was about Alec Lightwood that grabbed him heart and soul. 

When he was finished, Alec set the mug aside. He kept on staring at Magnus and he kept on saying nothing, and it was starting to freak Magnus out. 

“What are you thinking, Alexander?” 

He was _not_ expecting the reaction he got just a moment later.

* * *

Alec was thinking that he was in way over his head. He was thinking that all resistance was futile, and he was asking himself why he had put up a fight in the first place. He was thinking that Magnus’ eyes were very bright, and that all about Magnus called out to him like a Siren’s lure.

And finally, Alec was thinking that he did not want to think anymore. So he didn’t. He surged forward instead. He grabbed the front of Magnus’ T-shirt with one hand and Magnus’ nape with the other, and he pulled Magnus to him and pressed his lips over the warlock’s, because enough was enough and he was falling in love, and he wanted Magnus to know. 

Magnus’ gasp of surprise became one of want, and Alec kissed him like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

* * *

Magnus could count on the fingertips of one hand the times in his long life when his breath had been taken away. This was one of them.

He had been dreaming of Alec’s lips ever since he met him, and even more so after Alec had kissed him on that fateful day of his wedding. But this…this went beyond all of Magnus’ expectations, all of his fantasies, all of his desires. This kiss _filled_ him, in a way that his being had not been filled in a very long time. 

Alec didn’t talk about feelings. In fact, in Magnus’ experience, unless it was about Shadowhunters business, Alec didn’t talk. But the way he kissed was a language on its own. Alec kissed like a man who was only allowed to breathe in that one moment when lips locked and tongues touched. And Magnus was determined to make it his immortal life’s mission to keep Alexander breathing. Because, he was just starting to realize, that was the only way to keep himself alive too.

* * *

When they finally pulled apart, Alec’s brain kicked back into motion. He could actually _feel_ the gears turning in a well-oiled mechanism of self-doubt.

“Well, Alexander,” Magnus said, sounding breathless and happy, “you’re full of surprises.” 

Alec stared at him. He thought about all the times he had not been enough, and all the times he would not be enough. He thought about how larger than life Magnus was, how terrible and eternal like sea storms. And he suddenly remembered that he didn’t know how to swim. 

Magnus smiled at him and the mechanism jammed. Because maybe, just maybe, Alec would let Magnus teach him.

END


End file.
